“The Whizzinator!”

Man, I have to tell you, what people think they can get away with when they are actively using never ceases to amaze me.

I get a call from a case manager in Boston I have known for quite some time and the second she hears me say “hello,” she literally “loses it” on the phone laughing.

O.k. I think to myself, some people find me funny, but all I said was hello.

Finally she begins to wind-down. I’m like, ‘ah Nancy what is going on that’s so funny,’ and she loses it again!

Now I’m thinking, Nancy has finally gone over the edge; too many days working in our field.

‘Willy, oh my gawd! (Boston accent) You’ll never believe what happened a half an hour ago here! Unbelievable!

She begins to tell me the tale while trying to hold back her laughter. ‘You have heard of Whizzinators, right?

I say ‘yea I know what they are.’

For you un-informed folks, the ‘Whizzinator’ is an item that men can buy when they are trying to beat a urine tox screen test. They are a prosthetic device that looks like real male (ahem) genitals. The person trying to ‘beat’ the test will get a clean urine sample from someone, load the device with the sample, then pack it down the front of their pants prior to taking the test.

The people supervising the test watch them when they are giving the sample (not a job for me, no thank you).

Nancy continues when we were doing the screens this morning this young, freckled, fair skinned kid from ‘Southie’ got bagged using one.

So I say, ‘yea?’

“Willy! It was a black one!! She ‘loses’ it again laughing and this time so do I.

He told us afterwards it was the only one they had left. (raucous laughter)

Nancy, maybe he went ‘tanning?’ (laughter continues!)

Yup, it never ceases to amaze with what people think they can get away with. 