I remembered her from a couple of previous stays at our detox. When she came into treatment I always wondered why she would have a basketball with her. After her assessment was done I decided to sit with her and listen to what she had been up to recently, and maybe ask a few questions of my own.
So Melissa, what brings you into detox this time, I asked her. “I guess two grams of heroin a day qualifies me for treatment, huh?” She then let out a slight chuckle. Yea, that’s a pretty good habit you’ve got going there, (or should I say quite an unhealthy habit).
What have you been up to besides the obvious, I asked her. She responded, “Just hanging around Boston, booting and shooting hoops.”
You know, the last couple of times you were in I meant to ask you, what’s up with always having a basketball with you? Usually opiate people just want to nod off after they boot. I could sense uneasiness before she answered. “When I’m high I like to shoot hoop all day at the playgrounds around Boston.” Why? “B-Ball lets me feel o.k. with myself and everything else.”
How long have you been doing that? “Since my high school days.” Did you play basketball in high school? “Yea, I was on the varsity squad from freshman year on.”
Where did you grow up, from your southern accent I can tell it wasn’t around The Boston area.
“I grew up in South Carolina.” “How did you end up in the Boston area?” “One of my teammates from college was from around here so I came back with her after graduation.
Then when my habit grew, she asked me to leave, I can’t say I blame her though.”
Teammates? So you played college ball? There was a pause on her part and then a silence that seemed like hours. The look on her face was distant, as if she were in another time and place. Then she responded, “Those were the best times. We were National Champions in 19--and 19--.” A slight smile came across her face, and then she looked down at the desk.
Part of me was questioning the validity of her statements. However, the longer I worked at the detox the more incredible the power of addiction became apparent to me. Never discount anything a patient says to you until you check it out.
What was family life like, I asked her. Her head came up from staring at the desk; she looked me right in the eye, and said, “Hell, a living fucking hell. My daddy use to like to tuck me in at night a little too much, if you know what I mean.” I just nodded my head; she didn’t have to explain anything further.
So what do you think Melissa, are you open to maybe a half-way house as part of your discharge plan this time? “I don’t know Willy, I don’t think I can take the rules and all the bullshit that goes with being in a half-way house.” Melissa, this is what, your third time here, it seems to me that you really don’t have anything to lose by trying a half-way house, huh?
“I don’t know,” she stated again. I’m thinking that a half-way house might give you a chance to work on your trauma issues in a safe supportive environment, right? I could sense her brain working through what I had just said to her. I was hoping that the fear of change would not sidetrack her.
I am still amazed after all the years I have in the field to see people not make changes due to their fears. They often times will stay in an unhealthy situation simply because they know what to expect, or, what not to expect from day to day. I will have XYZ amount of misery today but that’s what I expect. Sort of the certainty of uncertainty.
Melissa did go to a woman’s half-way house when she left us. To this day I do not know what became of her after that. I would like to think that she got herself squared away; maybe she is even coaching a woman’s basketball team somewhere.
By the way, I did check out her basketball background and son-of-a-gun, Melissa was on two National Championship NCAA teams in Women’s Basketball.
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