“When You Leave Work – Leave Work.”

I am into my twenty-fifth year working in the psych/addiction field. Early on in my career, the title of this blog was not always easy to accomplish. As a matter of fact, it took several years before I was able to accomplish this on a regular basis. Even now, there are days that can be difficult to disengage from when I leave work at the end of the day; particularly if the transference/counter-transference game had been in play. Sometimes I will call my therapist on an exceptionally trying day to see if he has an open slot. The last thing I want to do is take the ‘day’ home with me.

In the early days of my career I would take it home every night. I would share the ‘joy’ of the day with my wife and her usual response would be, “I don’t know how you do it.” I would blame it on my parochial education with its emphasis on the ‘Seven Works of Mercy.’ (Bury the dead, visit the imprisoned, feed the hungry, shelter the homeless, clothe the naked, visit the sick, give drink to the thirsty). Damn those Nuns! I bought into the whole empathy, compassion deal. Oh well, guess there are worse things to espouse.

If I am not taking care of myself, how can I help others, to help themselves (do as I say, not as I do?) Keep taking work home with you and it is only a matter of time before ‘burn-out’ creeps in. I have seen this occur many times over the course of my years in the field; instances where really good clinicians have, well, ‘hit the wall’ and burned out.

I have especially seen this happen when the clinician is in recovery themselves. Slowly and insidiously the line becomes obscured between being in a professional relationship with the patient, and the relationship becoming a mutual one.

What they do for work becomes their ‘program.’ Good luck to those that are on this path. Burnout is more than likely right around the corner. I have heard clinicians say to a patient about to discharge, “I better see you at the meeting this Saturday!” Yup, I smell burn out coming; only a matter of time. Not to mention the line into co-dependency begins to rear its pervasive head.

“Well what am I supposed to do? There are always former patients at the meetings I go to." How about starting a ‘two-hat’ meeting? A ‘two-hat’ meeting is one that is attended only by those who work in the field and are in recovery themselves. These meetings are not listed. If you go to meetings that former patients attend, how can you maintain a professional role if they need to re-enter treatment? You cannot realistically do so.

Another way people ‘burn out’ is not taking care of themselves; nutrition, exercise, hobbies and outside interests.

Personally, I have been a roll the past several months preparing material for lecture, growing my social network, trying to finish up a book I have been writing, expanding my national contacts, writing this blog, etc.

Over the course of doing this I lost sight of nutrition and exercise. Before I knew it my weight shot up from 210 to 228, my waist went from 35’ to 40.’

I slammed the brakes on this a couple of weeks ago. I ‘make’ time in my schedule once again to hit the YMCA at least three times a week. As far as nutrition, I eat clean & healthy six days a week. Friday is my anything goes day. The reason for this is quite simple; I have no intention of going through the rest of my life without Italian pastries, pizza, ice cream, pasta, etc.

In the two weeks since re-starting a healthy regiment I have gone from 228 down to 220 and my waist is 37.’ Two, three weeks more, I should be back to my former self.

So long as I have been eating clean & healthy six out of the seven days of the week, and have been working out, this one day does not affect my weight.

Diet should be a way of eating for life; not a quick fix. Ask most people that have been on ‘quick’ weight loss diets and they will more often than not, tell of gaining back the original weight and then some once they stop the ‘diet.’

Another tool to help prevent burnout is having a therapist. I mentioned earlier that I have a therapist. Usually the first half of the session is about work; essentially a form of supervision. The second half is about my own issues that are outside the realm of work (not that I really have any, lol).

Once I leave work, I leave work. I am not my job. It is a ‘part’ of who I am, not the totality. Nor is it the ‘most’ important part of life, I reserve that designation for my family and friends.

Peace, Out