Too Far To Go

With his nineteen years on the earth, Nick was one of the younger patients. This was his second attempt at trying to get clean and sober. He had previously sought treatment less than a year before.

When asked on admission how long he had stayed sober for after his first admit he stated, “Oh, for about twenty minutes after I left.”

His drug of choice was heroin, and he was up to about a gram a day. Also in the mix was a history of depression with an anxiety disorder.

I began a group one afternoon where I was discussing the support programs available for people that are dual-diagnosed, meaning that they have chemical dependency as well as another mental health issue(s). As usual, Nick could be seen slumped in his chair barely listening, just waiting for the time to pass until dinner.

When I began to talk about a specific program for people to consider he sat upright in his chair, looked at me and said, “Willy, you know where I live? That program is about forty miles from my house, how do you expect me to get there when I don’t even have a car?”

I smiled at him, “Nick, gee I don’t know. How were you able to get a ride the other night to a town fifty miles away to score a bundle of heroin?”

“Touché,” he said.

“I didn’t mean it as a touché,” I told him. The point I am trying to make is what are you willing to do for your recovery? You know what you were willing to do to keep your addiction going, but what are you willing to do now to keep it in remission?”

He looked at me, let out a little sigh, and then went back to his previous slumped position in the chair.

Those of us on staff learned several months after his discharge that he had died of a heroin overdose.

We can teach and educate people on the tools of recovery, coping skills, relapse prevention; we can work with them on setting up a viable discharge plan, we can attempt to motivate them, but, in the end…the decision is theirs alone.