I can remember growing up in the sixties in an affluent town in Connecticut (our family was middle class – felt the need to put that in). There were no alcoholics; only problem drinkers or those who could not hold their liquor; a sign of the times I guess, the country club attitude, or perhaps a combination of both.
No alcoholics – therefore, no stigma.
God forbid, if you had a loved one that died of cirrhosis from alcoholism in those days. You begged the doctor to put anything down on the death certificate but that; maybe a heart attack, some incurable disease, etc.
As if the neighbors and friends did not know. It was just not discussed. Well openly anyway.
Zoom ahead to now. Addiction is more openly discussed in families and social settings than ever before. Yet at times one can see that stigma is still prevalent and often ignored or downplayed. How else can one explain that up until a few years ago if a person was civilly committed in Massachusetts (Section 35) for mandated addiction treatment they would be sent to a correctional facility? That’s right a correctional facility, not a treatment facility.
I am glad to see that this ‘stigma’ piece has changed.
There are still those in our society that mumble, ‘you know those people want to be that way.’ I always find it interesting when these people change that attitude when it is a member of their family that suddenly appears to be having an addiction issue. I guess it is just not the same thing.
Those people want to be that way? You know, I have yet to see it on a resume, ‘Professional Addict/Alcoholic.’ Yea I’m sure when they were growing up they were thinking, ‘you know, someday I want to become a professional addict/alcoholic; homeless, jobless, walking the streets, drinking a half-gallon of vodka a day.’ Yup, that’s what I want to do.
People who make those types of statements show their ignorance; they are part of the problem – not the solution.
There are other areas of mental health often times shrouded in stigma and secrecy. Why else would a family not talk about ‘Uncle Tony’ who has not worked in two years due to his depression, or, no one talks about the times when ‘Grandma' has made Sunday morning breakfast for everyone practically naked because she was in a full-blown manic episode.
In the case of depression, one might hear encouraging words from family such as: ‘what do you have to be depressed about’ or, ‘just pick yourself up by the bootstraps.’
Gee, those motivating statements should do the trick. I do not understand how ‘putdowns’ of that type can be considered motivating. Can someone explain to me how that works?
Yet these are statements that patients/clients tell me they can go through on a daily basis. There are support groups for the friends and families of those with addiction and/or other mental health issues.
Often times the patients/clients I work with tell me their families are not willing to attend such groups to learn about their illnesses due to the beliefs I stated previously.
The suggestion I make to them in that case is, look directly at them and say something to the effect, ‘you say you love me, and care about me, but you won’t attend a group to learn about my illness…’ Some people have told me this is unethical to suggest – so be it. I advocate for my patients/clients however I can.
We need to continue to have dialogue and education on addiction and mental health issues; we need to do away with ‘blanket’ statements that allow us to turn our heads away from these issues; we all need to be part of the ongoing solutions.
There is no place for ignorance and stigma if we truly care about our fellow human beings.
1 comment:
Willie
Sorry to say I'm a first time reader here..just wanted to say as a recovering alcoholic and a proud father of a 15yr old girl ..I try not to hide my disease from anyone..even as I tend bar [at the same place since my recovery..almost everyone know there Im in recovery]..anyway my point of writing was that I recall my daughter in her 3rd grade class brought up in class that her dad was an Alcoholic and teacher moved right on almost as if to change the subject..my daughter came home a tad confused thinking she did soemthing wrong. The only thing I told her at the time was to make sure she uses the word "recovery" and tell her that I'm open about it and if she[the teacher] has any questions feel free to call me..I think that is the first thing we should do..take care of how we present our selves as Addicts..afterall thats really the only thing we have control over isnt it? [maybe controls the wrong word]
my 2 cents...keep up the good work!
TTTom
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