“Are You In Recovery?” This is a question posed to me at least a half-dozen times a week by either a patient or a client.
Some people in the field adamantly believe one should never state either way. Others think in terms of case by case. Still others believe in telling their whole story if they are in recovery.
Me, first I will ask them why they feel the need to know this. Most will say they feel only someone that has been through what they have can help them. After such a response I will ask them what is their understanding of counseling and their expectations of therapy.
Many times after their responses I will suggest they find a twelve-step group and acquire a sponsor they can identify with if that is what they are looking for.
I explain that my role is not to develop a mutual relationship with them, a friendship (although the relationship can be friendly). We are not going out for coffee after the session nor are you going to learn all about me.
I view the issue on a case by case basis. I may say, yes I am in recovery. That is as far as I go with disclosure. I further state that what works for me may not work or be appropriate for them. If I tell them what 'works' for me it may induce in them an expectation that they will automatically have the same results.
Suggestions are based on what works for the majority of the people I see on a regular basis and current research. To state what ‘works’ for myself is not fair to them. What, if they cannot do it my way then they cannot remain sober? Just not fair – nor true.
Their story should be the basis of the counseling sessions – not mine. When teaching I always emphasize to my students that if one utilizes Motivational Interviewing correctly, they will never have an opportunity to tell their own story.
The role I play is that of a guide, a sort of psych Sensei. Through mutual dialogue I pose questions to them based on what they are saying to me. The answers are for themselves to hear, not necessarily for me to hear. Many times I will assign readings to increase their self-efficacy; with discussion at the beginning of the next session.
Yea, I am in Recovery. Now let’s move onto the important presenting issue, “YOUR RECOVERY.”
4 comments:
I thought it was thought-provoking. Although, I disagree when you said you don't share your story. I think it is beneficial to sometimes share our story if it will help others.
Thank you for the thought provoking comments. Again, I feel that once you cross that line into a "mutual" relationship objectivity gets lost. If our story is the only one that can 'help' them or, that they will listen to, am I not fostering in effect a co-dependant relationship? I share my story, but not within the confines of a therapeutic relationship. Ego can too easily hide behind humility.
Do you believe that to be effective you need to have experienced the addiction? I have only heard this in the substance abuse area only. If I were to work with an anorexic client, I would not be expected to be in recovery. Can you share with me why this is an issue in substance abuse counseling?
No, I do not believe that to be effective you need to have experienced addiction. In another blog I wrote I emphasized the fact that I have friends working in the field that do not have addiction issues and they do excellent work.
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